Many of us have a lot of stressful times during the day. We have responsibilities, such as our jobs, our our children, our projects to finish and a lot of work to be done. There are situations and works that cause us stress yet we can neither prevent them to happen nor change them. So how can we cope more wisely and take better care of ourselves in those situations that are beyond our control?
First of all, there is no one else in our life who can understand our needs and feelings better than us. So take a pen and paper and write down activities which increase your energy, wellbeing or mood. These can be exercising, taking a warm shower, chatting with a friend, going for a walk, doing yoga, doing your hobby, writing etc. Afterwards list the things to do, people, or activities that you couldn’t escape or change but that degrade your energy or make you feel down. I can hear your voice; the meeting coming up soon, the projects to be finished, the bills to be paid, the housework, the upcoming exam, the doctor’s appointments you fear etc.
We postpone activities which make us relaxed or feel good until the work you have to do is finished. Because, by nature, the mind works in a doing mode and focuses on the negative things or risks. It does not make you take a break until it finishes what has to be done. Then you realize that, the day is over and you are trying to sleep in a tired, exhausted and low mood in your bad. However, do not worry, it is possible to bring new habits to the mind and change its structure. For this you need to take control and train your mind. Try to make the good activities gradually throughout the day, no matter what. Take a short break in the middle of your work and turn on your favourite music. Take this break in the middle of what you have to do. You might have a difficulty to do it at first, but with the energy that the enjoyable activity will ultimately bring to you, you will cope more easily with the things that you have to do. If there are 5 compulsory and unpleasant activities to do in a day, place 3-4 enjoyable activities among them. After a while, you might start feeling more energetic and having a good mood throughout the day and even if there are unpleasant activities that you cannot prevent, it will be easier to find wiser solutions by staying in the moment when you do them. Remember, the mind is like a garden, it contains both beautiful flowers and grasses. If you only feed the grasses, after a while your garden will be made of grasses. Because you become what you feed.